Zacchaeus' Folly

Everything makes sense now... in a horrifying, surreal sort of way. That blasted contraption Professor Zacchaeus invented doesn't just instantly send you places like the transporter from Star Trek. It sends you places through time. It's a time machine, for cheddar's sake! And I'm its first test animal.

Boy, PETA's not going to like this!

I stagger to my feet, a paw to my throbbing head. "Inspector Dapperling, can we talk--" I shoot the befuddled uniform a meaningful glance. "--in private?"

"You can go, Constable Chutney," he says, raising a quizzical eyebrow at me.

Constable Chutney can hardly get to the door fast enough. The Inspector moves behind his desk. (I sense he too wants to put some distance between us.)

"So, what have you got to tell me, Miss... er..."

"Dapperling. Prudence Dapperling."

He grins. "You are relative of mine then."

I grimace and look away. "Sort of. You see, Inspector. It's like this--"

"Please, call me Felix."

"OK. Felix." I take a deep, calming breath. "You'd better sit down. This is going to be a little hard to swallow..."