The Bad and the Ugly

OK. Let's be honest. Not all bats are nice. (Remember: I said I'd share the mostly good news about bats. Well, here's the "not so good" news.)

I say, let's get it out of the way right off the bat (no pun intended) so we can concentrate on the good stuff. Dessert is always sweeter once you've endured the boiled veg... that sort of thing.

So here goes...

False vampires

Yikes!!!

Need I say more? Probably not, but I will anyway.

This is the critter that comes to mind when I think "Bad bat!" This particular species of unpleasant chap can be found in the Americas (i.e., southern Mexico, Central America, Peru, Ecuador, northern Brazil, Suriname, Guyana, and Trinidad).

False vampires are the largest bats in the Americas and the largest carnivorous bats in the world. With a wingspan that usually ranges from 24 to 36 inches (and up to 39 inches in the largest of the species) and a body size of 4.9-5.3 inches, these guys are monsters!

...with a face only a mother could love. Ugh!

In addition to sluicing down my kind with alacrity (gulp!), they hunt birds, frogs, reptiles, and even other bats! In a pinch, they'll make due with insects too (e.g., locusts, cicadas, etc.), like regular, non-friend-and-relative eating bats. 

But, in the spirit of fairness and full disclosure, I must say that false vampires are not all bad. For example, they have a strong sense of family. Males and females often mate for life and share in the upbringing of their (usually) single-pup litter every mating season. 

Now, if they could just lose that habit of eating rodents...

Arrrrgh!