Mouse in a Million

Presenting (insert drum roll here)....

Prudence Dapperling's "Mouse in a Million" Big Cheese Blog!

That's right. I'm a mouse. This is me, Prudence Dapperling.

Why "Mouse in a Million"? Because, of the umpty bazillion mice in the world, I bet I'm one of the very few with a blog.

So, if I'm a mouse, why have I been going on and on about bats? I'd never given them much thought before. Didn't even like them really. Always thought they were kind of scary.

Then I learned the truth: A bat saved the life of someone very important to me. Essential even. Without her, I wouldn't be here. Neither would my family. I've mentioned her before. Her name is Gabriella Caprella.

Her story is called Darklings.

So concludes my tribute to the winged saviors of yours truly. I hope I've done them justice.

Next up: Heavenly nibbles

And the Good

Whew! Now that we've gotten that behind us, let's explore the good things about bats.

For starters, bats are the most numerous mammals on earth, comprising (as I've mentioned) over 900 species. They can be found in just about every place on earth (except for the North and South Poles and other really cold spots), and are considered exalted creatures in a number of human cultures.

The scientific name for bats is Chiroptera, which means "hand wing," referring to the structure of the bat's wings... long "fingers" with skin stretched between them.

Bats are further divided into two sub-orders: Microchiroptera and Megachiroptera.

The Micros are relatively small guys, who, with a few chilling exceptions

The frog-eating bat. It really isn't easy being green, is it?

...prefer a diet of crawling and flying things, such as centipedes, cicadas, spiders, mosquitos, flies, June bugs, etc. I don't know about you, but I like that in a bat. Any critter who reduces the creepy, crawly, buzzy, pesky legions that plague us all is top hole with me! And these lads can be very appealing.

The greater mouse-eared bat. What a charmer!

The big brown bat. Just look at that smile!

Megas are the biggies of the bat kingdom. So big, in fact, they're often called "flying foxes." Some, like the golden crowned flying fox

Riveting!

...can have wingspans up to 5 feet 7 inches. (More like a flying terrier, I'd say!) Anyway, these fellows really dig fruit, eating mass quantities of the stuff, spreading seeds all over the place in their droppings, and pollinating all sorts of fruit trees and shrubberies. All this eating, spreading, and pollinating make the Megas very important to the ecology of their habitats. And they're quite handsome critters with lots of personality.

What's not to like, right?

Next up: The Mouse in a Million says "farewell"

The Bad and the Ugly

OK. Let's be honest. Not all bats are nice. (Remember: I said I'd share the mostly good news about bats. Well, here's the "not so good" news.)

I say, let's get it out of the way right off the bat (no pun intended) so we can concentrate on the good stuff. Dessert is always sweeter once you've endured the boiled veg... that sort of thing.

So here goes...

False vampires

Yikes!!!

Need I say more? Probably not, but I will anyway.

This is the critter that comes to mind when I think "Bad bat!" This particular species of unpleasant chap can be found in the Americas (i.e., southern Mexico, Central America, Peru, Ecuador, northern Brazil, Suriname, Guyana, and Trinidad).

False vampires are the largest bats in the Americas and the largest carnivorous bats in the world. With a wingspan that usually ranges from 24 to 36 inches (and up to 39 inches in the largest of the species) and a body size of 4.9-5.3 inches, these guys are monsters!

...with a face only a mother could love. Ugh!

In addition to sluicing down my kind with alacrity (gulp!), they hunt birds, frogs, reptiles, and even other bats! In a pinch, they'll make due with insects too (e.g., locusts, cicadas, etc.), like regular, non-friend-and-relative eating bats. 

But, in the spirit of fairness and full disclosure, I must say that false vampires are not all bad. For example, they have a strong sense of family. Males and females often mate for life and share in the upbringing of their (usually) single-pup litter every mating season. 

Now, if they could just lose that habit of eating rodents...

Arrrrgh!

Bats

Believe it or not, although of a different order, we rodents really have a lot in common with bats.

1) We share the same secret, mysterious nighty-night world, working, playing, eating, etc., while other critters sleep.

2) We're both cute and furry.

OK. Perhaps not always cute, but certainly furry.









3) We like a lot of the same things:

Yummy chow...

Cooling drinks...

A little boogie fever for laughs...

And just hanging out.

4) We are both so misunderstood! In fact, the press about us down through the ages has been quite outrageous.

Bats especially have gotten a bad rap.

They've been smeared by legends of blood sucking, sorcery, disease spreading, property damage, pet snatching, and dive-bombing ladies with big hair-dos.

I confess that such misunderstanding has even existed between bats and rodents. I myself once had an aversion to these winged fellows of the night.

But I've learned. Based on my reading of that delightful work Darklings, by my good friend and colleague C. D. Davis, I now consider myself enlightened regarding the admirable qualities of bats.

In the coming weeks, I'll make it my mission to share the (mostly) good news about a few of the 900+ species of bats from around the world.

Please stay tuned. And embrace the bat!

Darklings

As promised, Darklings is now available on Amazon in paperback!

So, who or what are darklings? Anyone who goes about his or her business in the hours of darkness between dusk and dawn, and sleeps during the day. Rodents, bats, etc. We are all creatures of the night.

Darklings is the captivating and very cool story of two such creatures: Gabriella Caprella Contessa d'Asiago and Prince Mercurio of Venice.

How do I know? Because I've read it myself... and give it 2-claws-way-up for fun, suspense, and hilarity.

Order your copy now by clicking here!

Change of Course

Dear Faithful Readers (all two of you),

At the risk of dashing you on the rocks of disappointment, I have decided (albeit reluctantly) to leave the further telling of my story to another.

Please. No tears. Really, I couldn't... Oh dear. Need a moment to myself.

(Sounds of loud and comprehensive nose blowing off page)

(sniff) I assure you that the full account of my enthralling adventure (titled She How She Runs, available in soft cover and for Kindle via Amazon in summer, 2013), as told by my first-rate friend and chronicler, C. D. Davis, will make you glad of my decision.

You may well ask, "So, Dapperling, you bumptious little layabout, what do you intend to do with yourself now that you've given up your autobiographical ramblings?"

I'm still pondering that, as a matter of fact.

Meanwhile, I'll tell you about another fascinating mouse: Gabriella Caprella.

The year is 1912, and the orphaned Gabriella works as a char mouse, cleaning up around the Metropolitan Opera House in New York City. One day, her life changes forever when she learns that she's the heir of her late mother's uncle, Giancarlo Conte d'Asiago. Gabriella soon finds herself in beautiful, mysterious Venice, Italy, where she must fend off murderous relatives, persistent suitors, and bloodthirsty vampires to claim her title as Contessa d'Asiago and restore her family's honor.

Wow! Now, there's a life almost as fraught with incident as mine.

Anyway, Gabriella's story is a pretty cool one. (And rather important to me, as I'll explain someday.) You can read all about her in Darklings, available in softcover and for Kindle via Amazon, 15 August.

Hugs and kisses,
Prudence

Funny Money

Inspector Dapperling jumps to his feet. "'Counterfeit money' did you say, Constable Pellet?"

The large Guinea pig, clutching my collar, nods vigorously. "Yessir! This 'ere bit of a girl mouse tried to pay for this newspaper--" He waves Exhibit A over my head. "--with it. Go on. Show 'im!" he growls at my ear. He shoves me forward.

"Steady on, Pellet," Felix admonishes, fighting a smirk at my indignation.

I turn out my pinafore pockets and dump my remaining cash onto the Inspector's desk. Both mouse and Guinea pig goggle at the dough... a whole £5 53p. Barely enough for a decent cheese sandwich and a soda in my time. A small fortune apparently by 1922 standards, telling by the looks on their faces.

"You see, sir?" Pellet hoots in triumph, pointing at the boodle. "'Oo's face izzat on them coins and itty bitty bills, eh? Hepzibah XII? And 'oozzat when she's at 'ome, eh?"

 "Yes, yes, Constable," Felix mutters.

"And whazzat year there? 2012? Gorblimey, that's 90 years from now." Pellet cuffs me upside the head. "You must think we're stupid or somethin'!" he snarls at me.

"All right, Pellet. That's quite enough!" Felix has the decency to be angry. "I'll handle this. You may go!"

The Constable turns to leave, grumbling.

"Wait!" my ancestor calls at his back. He digs a coin out of his waistcoat pocket and gives it to him. "Pay for the newspaper, will you? Never fear. That one's genuine, I assure you," he snaps when the Constable hesitates, staring suspiciously at the money. "Now go!"

Pellet starts to walk away. I snatch the newspaper tucked under his foreleg.

"I'll take that. Thank you!" I say tartly.

 He gives me a final, silent snarl and departs.

 When the door closes, Felix collapses into his chair, glowering at me. "I won't ask you why you disobeyed my orders and snuck out of the flat," he says with barely controlled fury. "No explanation can possibly justify your outrageous behavior."

"Felix--" I start.

He throws up his paws in exasperation. "How can you be so ungrateful? Here I am trying my best to protect you while we sort out this bizarre situation--"

"Felix!"

 "--putting my career and reputation at risk, and all based on some nonsense about monster rats from the future!"

 "FELIX!"

 "What?!"

 I thrust the newspaper, with its strange headline, at him. I peek around it, watching his eyes dart back and forth, reading. Finally, he sits back, folds his forelegs, and says, "Very interesting, I'm sure."

I goggle at him in disbelief. "Is that all you have to say?"

He nods. "That and so what? A bunch of odd bits of junk go missing from a naval yard. What is that supposed to mean?"

I turn the paper around and read the inventory of missing items aloud. "'Large shell casings, wire, dud explosives, charges, torpedo fins, propellers, engine components--" I look at him in horror. "--bullets'!" I toss the newspaper onto his desk. "All these things are large and/or dangerous. Just the sort of stuff useful to 'monster rats from the future' plotting a major crime!"

The Inspector shakes his head. "I don't know,  Prudence," he says doubtfully.

His phone rings. He answers it. "Inspector Dapperling here..."

A muffled voice, stern and frantic, comes over the wire.  Felix jumps to his feet. "Yessir, Commissioner." His face screws up in alarm. "Right. We'll be right there!"

Felix replaces the earpiece on the gallows phone and clumps it onto the desktop. He runs around the desk, grabbing my paw as he sprints to the door.

"Felix, what is it?" I ask breathlessly as he practically drags me from the office.

"We're to go directly to the Commissioner's office," he pants. "Winona Wensleydale, the Prime Minister's daughter, has just been discovered kidnapped!"